


Yondu Udonta and Ego Fistfight in Heaven

by Movie_Riggs



Series: The Guardians of the Galaxy Go to Heaven [1]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Clearly my favorite superheroes are the ones named Peter, F/M, I just want Yondu to have a semi-happy ending, I'm breaking all the rules of how being a celestial probably works, Inspired by the title of the painting "Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven", This is almost a year overdue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 23:27:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14412774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Movie_Riggs/pseuds/Movie_Riggs
Summary: Yondu awakes in a bright new realm moments after dying in front of Peter to find an old enemy awaiting him.





	Yondu Udonta and Ego Fistfight in Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this idea literally months ago, not long after I had seen Vol. 2 in the theater. Took me this long to actually sit down and write, so hopefully you all enjoy.

**Just Above Earth**

**1988**

"Well, looky what we have here, boys. A Terran!"

The Ravagers whooped and hollered, encircling the small figure that had just been sucked into the cargo hold of their ship. "Mission accomplished," Yondu grinned through crooked teeth. "So, let's haul ass to Xandar! We've got business to conduct."

A large, particularly ugly brute of a crew member frowned in astonishment at Yondu's declaration. "What? I thought we were supposed to deliver him to..." Yondu glared viciously at the bold Ravager, who hung his head and finished meekly, "...to...the employer?"

Yondu waved his hand as if to metaphorically toss aside the absent employer. "I think we can all agree that guy's a jackass."

"But he offered to pay us millions of units!" the other pirate argued, practically drooling with greed.

Yondu rolled his eyes and groaned dramatically. "Taserface, sometimes your stupidity...your stupidity, it...it...Kraglin?"

Yondu's first mate straightened his shoulders nervously. "Cap'n?"

"What's the word I'm looking for?"

"The word?"

"Yeah, the word. His stupidity, it...it...confuses me."

"Confuses, sir?"

"Yeah, but that ain't the word. It's like that word. It's just different."

"It astounds you?"

"Nah, that ain't it."

"Perplexes? Uh...baffles?"

Yondu snapped his fingers gleefully. "Yeah, that's the one! Taserface, sometimes your stupidity  _baffles_  me. Take a look at that boy there. He's skinny, ain't he?"

"Yeah!" several of the Ravagers confirmed simultaneously, glancing and gesturing at the boy as if to affirm that this was so.

"He's small ain't he?" Yondu continued.

"Yeah!"

"He could fit into a lot of places we can't. He could fit into an air shaft. Could you fit into an air shaft, Taserface? Could you?"

Bitterly, Taserface lowered his gaze to the metal floor. "No."

Feeling the need to press his point home further, Yondu questioned, "What about you, Kraglin, could you fit into an air shaft?"

"No sir, Cap'n."

"Damn right you couldn't! You're too big! But the boy here...he could. What's your name, boy?"

The young boy did not look up from the ground, where he sat with his knees clutched to his chest, whimpering. Yondu tapped him roughly with his foot. "Hey, boy! I'm talking to you! What's your name?!"

Finally, the boy raised his head, staring at Yondu with sad eyes and a quivering lip. "P-Peter Q-Quill."

"Well, Mr. Quill...you could fit into an air shaft, couldn't you?"

"A-air shaft?"

"Say yes, boy," Yondu advised. "If you don't, these men here are likely to eat you. They ain't ever tasted no Terran before. Have ya, men?"

"No!" The Ravagers chorused excitedly.

"I c-could fit into an air s-shaft," Peter agreed frightfully.

Yondu nodded in satisfaction. "That's what I like to hear. He'll be good for thieving! All he needs is a little training."

"The employer will come looking for him," Taserface said in a last-ditch attempt to convince Yondu otherwise. "He'll come looking for  _us_."

In spite of the threat, Yondu just cracked a grin. "Well, it's a good thing he don't know where to look, ain't it?"

* * *

**27 Years Later**

_"No!"_

_"Don't you worry about Mr. Quill."_

_"Yondu Udonta, I have a proposition for you."_

_"I want you to bring me my son, Yondu."_

_"You broke the code!"_

_"I'm damn lucky you're my boy."_

_"No! Yondu! Oh, no! No!"_

Yondu woke up in a void of white light. His head was spinning, and the awful glow that was coming from everywhere did nothing to help. He shut his eyes, gritting his teeth until he felt his vision slowly beginning to adjust. He felt for all the world like he had never been more at peace, and yet another part of him was confused. As the last words he had spoken began to come back to him, and he recalled Peter's cries, he felt his insides burn in turmoil.

He rose up, studying his surroundings. Though the light was no longer blinding, it still hindered his sight. There was nothing to see but whiteness. Even the surface on which he was standing was near-invisible. No objects or boundaries or horizon of any kind could be determined. It was as if Yondu had fallen into nothingness.

With nothing left to stare at, Yondu's gaze went downward, to look at his own self. He realized he was dressed in white clothing, incredibly soft to the touch.

"What the..."

His own voice. It felt like he hadn't used it in ages. It sounded strange...almost younger. He swished his tongue about his mouth as if to test it for anything out of the ordinary. His teeth felt unusually straight, and the one that was different-his favorite gold one he liked to run his tongue over-was gone, replaced by a much more normal tooth.

Yondu did not know what to think, and in a moment of weakness he wanted to loathe himself for, he began to stumble through this empty realm, calling out for anyone who would answer.

"Peter?! Quill?! Where you at, boy?! Kraglin?! Rodent?! Twig?! Quill?!"

Yondu's wandering yielded him nothing. He finally slumped down, his head beginning to reel all over again. He checked inside his clothes to make sure there was nothing of use for him. There wasn't. Although the scars he had gained over his many years as a ravager appeared to have vanished completely. Curious, he studied the rest of his body. All the wounds he recalled accumulating over the years were no more. In fact... He reached up to the top of his head and ran it over his skull. Nothing but smooth skin; no fin to be found.

He sighed. He was beginning to believe there was no one else in this new world with him.

A terribly noticeable change in the light appeared. A dark spot that grew until a silhouette was distinguishable. Yondu had spoken too soon. As the figure approached, features became clearer. When every feature could be made out, a violent taste formed in Yondu's mouth, and he scowled.

Ego offered nothing but the coldest and most sardonic of smiles. Spontaneously, he began to clap.

"Well done! Well  _done_ , Yondu! Really! You truly are a Ravager!"

"What the hell's going on here?" Yondu demanded.

"Shut up, I'm not finished! You know, not only did you fail to deliver the one child of mine that was going to get me what I wanted, but you raised him as your own!"

"I was a better dad than you'll ever be."

" _I am his blood father! He is rightfully mine!_ " Ego boomed, his eyes full of rage.

Yondu cared nothing for Ego's soulless complaints. He observed how the planet's human form was dressed in similar white clothing, and wondered if Ego had been here any longer him. "Where are we?"

"Don't you know?" Ego gestured around with a grand sweep of both arms. "We're in the next world! The other side! The great beyond! The place where the living cannot enter and the dead cannot leave! And do you know why we're here? It's because of you! You stupid old pirate! You killed us both!"

While wondering if what Ego told him about their surroundings was true, Yondu replied easily, "Ridding the galaxy of your filthy hide was worth it."

"Well, I'm glad you feel that way, Yondu. Because we're gonna be here for a long, long time. And since it's just the two of us...we've got nothing better to do." Ego balled up his fists and crouched, readying for a fight. Yondu smirked cockily, and promptly whistled. There was a moment of silence. He remembered his arrow and fin were gone, and the smirk faded from his face only to reappear on Ego's. "Missing something?" With a howl of rage, Yondu launched himself at the other man and the two began trading punches.

Yondu wasn't sure that either of them could inflict lasting pain on the other in this realm, but he was long past caring. It felt damn good to strike Ego repeatedly in the face with his fists, and because the celestial had lived as a planet with his human form as a mere extension for so long, Yondu was a much better fighter. He threw several strikes to Ego's jaw, then delivered a kick that sent his opponent sprawling.

It was only when Yondu noticed another figure emerging out of the nothingness that he halted in his tracks. The newest arrival was no one he recognized; it was a beautiful blonde-haired woman with sad eyes that seemed somehow so familiar. It appeared that Ego, however, did recognize her. He stood up with a charming smile, arms spread out wide and invitingly.

"Meredith! My river lily!"

Meredith promptly stormed forward and slapped Ego fiercely. "You son of a bitch!"

"Oh no, honey-."

"You shut up! You cruel, selfish, manipulative bastard!"

In spite of everything, Yondu watched the proceedings with a hint of humor. "I'll be damned," he muttered to himself, beginning to understand who the woman was.

"I was in love with you!" Meredith said, her voice breaking. "I was so in love with you!"

"And I was in love with you!" Ego insisted. "Believe me! Nothing I did changed that! Even when I put the tumor in your head, I didn't  _want_  you to die! It was something I had to do!"

"I don't care about the tumor!" Meredith cried. "What about what you did to Peter?! What about all those other children you mercilessly slaughtered?! All those other women you lied to and pretended to love! And then you did it to me!"

Ego shook his head, still attempting to twist the woman's view into something that resembled his own. "No, no, you see...I  _did_  love you, Meredith. I know what I did doesn't seem so great, but I promise you: you were the only woman I ever loved. Out of all of them!"

"You're doing it  _now_ , you sick son of a bitch! You're lying to me!"

"No, Meredith, I'm not! I love you!"

" _Stop lying to me!_ " she screamed.

"Oh, for the love of-..." Ego cut himself off, throwing up his arms in exasperation. The charming smile that had once worked its magic on Meredith was replaced with a scowl that Yondu knew to reflect the real Ego. "I don't have to answer to you."

Meredith paused, then nodded and admitted, "No, you don't. I never want to see you again."

Yondu figured it was about time he cut in. "You heard her, jackass. It's time for you to leave. Go on! Get!"

Ego scoffed, gesturing around. "And exactly where do you expect me to go?"

"Anywhere but where me or my son are," Meredith stated firmly.

Defeated, Ego walked away.

Before Yondu could say a word, Meredith embraced him happily. Yondu held his arms outward, uncomfortable to say the least and far from ready to return the embrace. "Uh...I don't know if you know this or not, but I'm not much of a hugger."

Meredith hummed against his chest. "After all you did for my boy, you're gonna have to get used to it."

"But I didn't do nothing right for your boy, ma'am."

"No. You did  _everything_  right. You did the best you could."


End file.
